Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ketchup is God's man juice
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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