happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
