I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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