I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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