I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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