i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights