hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.