You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?