Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper

(952): View more from Minnesota

Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?

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(612): he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper (952): Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it? http://tfl.nu/ydx5

Replies (9) Good night (1025) Bad night (3954)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away

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(732): i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away http://tfl.nu/d57a

Replies (40) Good night (4851) Bad night (3246)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning

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(603): i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning http://tfl.nu/3q6t

Replies (10) Good night (1089) Bad night (4394)
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(469): View more from Texas

I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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(469): I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d1jb

Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (3166)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

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(985): she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out. http://tfl.nu/kfuw

Replies (11) Good night (3694) Bad night (1125)
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(319): View more from Iowa

You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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(319): You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there http://tfl.nu/a5ka

Replies (14) Good night (1287) Bad night (3138)
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(206): View more from Washington

..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"

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(206): ..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance" http://tfl.nu/51ez

Replies (10) Good night (3221) Bad night (1036)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..

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(309): Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around.. http://tfl.nu/cqm4

Replies (4) Good night (2646) Bad night (1053)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

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(443): Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is. http://tfl.nu/at5q

Replies (4) Good night (1861) Bad night (1059)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.

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(832): I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water. http://tfl.nu/tyil

Replies (6) Good night (1609) Bad night (1341)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

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(970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z

Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (517)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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(201): For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao http://tfl.nu/eyan

Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (507)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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(330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn

Replies (9) Good night (1255) Bad night (445)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I almost fell asleep reading that.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I almost fell asleep fucking it.

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(405): No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora. (405): I almost fell asleep reading that. (405): I almost fell asleep fucking it. http://tfl.nu/v47a

Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (1102)
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(323): View more from California

Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.

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(323): Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all. http://tfl.nu/s4jk

Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (311)

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