His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.