He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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