i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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