You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
