the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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