dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're a waste of cheezeits
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
