Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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