if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
