I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
