I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
