i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize