ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
