He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
