What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
