Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
