Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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