No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
