Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
