I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
