I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize