maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
