NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
