party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
