JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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