Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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