she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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