Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
