we have pet lesbian snakes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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