We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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