I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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