I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
