I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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