Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
