I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the liver wants what the liver wants
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
