u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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