So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
