K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
