I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
