she looked like the before picture.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
