There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's shark week go big or go home
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
