...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
