Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
