How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need moral support for this bender
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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