i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
