Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize