1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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