im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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