literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
