tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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