Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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