Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
