Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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