I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
