I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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