if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
