before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
