Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize