It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
