so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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