THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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