im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
vagina is talking i cant
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
